Several weeks ago my fellow tellers at Third Federal Bank gathered around a toy that my assistant manager had bought for her little girl. The toy was a cute plastic polar bear that could poop jellybeans upon demand. The toy was cute and cheap, costing about the Pennsylvania hourly minimum wage [although jellybean refills made to fit the required specifications cost nearly as much as the bear itself].

Seeing that toy made me think about two realities:

1) we are incredibly rich.

2) we do some of the dumbest things with our money.

At literally no time or place in the history of humanity has the average person been as wealthy as 21st century Americans. Even a lowly bank teller is spectacularly wealthy. I make $9.00 an hour and can pay for a roof over my head, food on my [tv dinner] table, and even have enough left over to rent a movie, buy a book, or send a present to my fiancee. I am poor by modern standards yet I am literate, have traveled our country and the world, and own hundreds of books.

To put my considerable wealth in perspective I would like you to meet my [possible] ancestor, Jan Slav. Jan is born in a village on the wrong side of the dirt track. In fact, his entire village is on the wrong side of the dirt track. He tends pigs like his father and grandfather before him. He doesn’t even own the pigs he herds. Jan has never been more than twenty miles from where he was born and has never even seen a book, since his village parish was much too poor to actually own a copy of the Bible. Jan wouldn’t know disposable income if it hit him in the face; he is much more concerned about being able to survive the next winter or bad harvest. Jan probably has never eaten anything sweeter than an apple.

Yet here I stand today with enough disposable income to buy a magical bear that poops solidified sugar. I can eat fruits from across the globe that only nobility had access to in Jan’s day. I think nothing of traveling hundreds of miles to visit my family. I am rich.

Our disposable income gives us choices our ancestors never dreamed of and opportunities they couldn’t have imagined. But what do I do with my wealth? I play video games. I shop for designer clothes. I purchase preprepared food. I get expensive bling. I upgrade my car stereo. I change the wallpaper. I buy a pooping polar bear.

Every time I think of that pooping bear I laugh at myself. We have more money, time, and opportunity, yet as a people we are more discontent and unhappy as any people ever were before. So much for expecting material desires to satisfy spiritual needs.

Purchase now a complete set of four pooping creatures for yourself or your relations!
http://www.amazon.com/Christmas-Candy-Poopers-Collection-Packs/dp/B000I8FZ8Q

Is there a holiday dedicated to Mother-in-laws? (sorry Mrs. P, I really couldn’t resist)